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widow's daughter

by maudlyn monroe

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1.
Farewell again, love You lifted your anchor 1,000 days ago We both know I’m unreliable I’m liable, love, to break something, careful, love I’m sorry, sorry, love You’re betrothed 1,000 times To distant shores and women, 1,000 live not mine I’m liable, love, to break something, careful, love Nevertheless, love I’m not waiting, love So come back, come back, come back where I always know, love, when you’re near I’ll know the moment your sails appear, come back, love I’ll come find you, love No giant squid, no reckless sea foam Can keep me, I’ll fly, love, my skull and crossbones I’m liable, love, to break something, aren’t I, love? Nevertheless, love Yes, you’ve told me, love Your new girl’s wild, but you’re so tired, so Tell me you’re satisfied, and I’ll let right go I can lift you up, love, let me, love Careful, careful, love Let me, let me, love I’ll come find you, love I’m not waiting, love I’m sorry, sorry, love Farewell, again, love
2.
lidocaine 04:08
Sailor, since you left this valley months ago, every evening’s indigo. Stars, lithium and old guitars are what you keep in your heart. I wish I would leave this valley for the sea, broad and brimming Gallilee. O, o the Gulf of Mexico, o the California coast. Lidocaine, lidocaine, fix me up some easy thing, so I will know just where to go, free and easy, singing ‘Lidocaine.’ Pretty seashells, pretty seashells in my hair, chiming in the summer air, will I find you waiting ? Where ? O I’m a silly thing, silly thing, silly school girl posturing. I do not know where I will go, laudinum or methadone, but I’ll sing love songs as I go. Lidocaine, lidocaine, fix me up some easy thing, so I will know just where to go, free and easy, singing ‘Lidocaine,’ singing ‘Lidocaine.’
3.
yellow bird 03:29
Yellow bird, handsome bird, won’t you sing me just a small song ? I have followed you forever and a day. I’ve known the lonesome winds. Won’t you ever let me know you, pretty bird ? Yellow bird, handsome bird, I was just a little girl when you went flying from the valley far from home into the lonesome winds Just what is it you were leaving, pretty bird ? Yellow bird, handsome bird, have you taken everything ? That thick gold wedding ring just slipped right through her hands. There’s nothing left to show, nothing on the ground below, won’t you even leave a shadow, pretty bird ? Yellow bird, handsome bird, you are nothing but a sad song, I can’t hold you now, no matter how I try. I know the lonesome sky gets so lonesome you could die, and you’re never coming back now, are you bird ? You’re never coming back now, are you, bird ? You’re never coming back now, are you, bird ? Yellow bird, handsome bird, won’t you sing me just a small song ? I have followed you forever and a day. I’ve known the lonesome winds. Won’t you ever let me know you, pretty bird ?
4.
Is it helping? The grey tweed penguin standing in the corner in front of the unpainted plaster You put on the mask just to help with your sleeping You can’t stand to look at the unspackled ceiling Up by the graveyard just off of 9th Street you heard Leonard Cohen’s dark, hot daughter she lived in her car and nobody knew her —well, everyone knew her, but only so far You can walk on the plank bridge over the drainage You can hear the kids laughing from not so far and the foothills have got so much magic it’s tragic and some night I’ll come out just to sleep with the stars Down every mountain highway, around every corner I sped, sped, sped cause the roads are too narrow for the police to patrol and sometimes you’ve gotta make your getaway good So you pick up that guitar like any good folk star unknown to the masses but fierce when you growl and you put all that awkward and upset and unknown and too much, and too slow in a song and you thank god it snowed This town is a lily white down feather pillow I’m blessed and I’m cursed and I’ve just got to follow where the ones I need lead me, I’ve no strength to hold me alone in the wilds with my car and a gravestone So tell my sweet sister and all of my brothers and all those I’ve done wrong, that makes up all the others I’m lighting the torches, I’m fighting unfortunate things that I’ve done in this world of our fathers Oh, I don’t sleep well, this ceiling’s disgusting and I’ve done such harm in this world, and I’m sorry and thank god it snowed, this late winter’s disarming the snow will be gone by tomorrow, I’m sorry
5.
what I know 03:49
Tell me would you hold me if I told you that I know some things that you don’t want to know Tell me could I trust you, would you be true as you seem to be inside that soulful show I would like to know, I would like to know… Cause you, you’re something else, you’re something warm, something I have never known Smoking in the cold November streetlight, baby, I would like to know Tell me what it takes, tell me what it takes... I would like to know, I would like to know… I would give my life to taste the life you’d give me if you’d give me one small taste of you Tell me what it takes to light a fire up in your eyes and I will Tell you what I know, tell you what I know... Tell me what it takes, tell me what it takes... I would like to know, I would like to know… I would sing a love song if you’d let me sing it sweetly, softly low Just to be a stranger once to irony, to all this sorrow I would hang my hope on your willow tree, I would hang my hope on your willow tree I would hang my hope on your paper star, I would hang my hope on the hope you are Tell me what it takes, tell me what it takes... I would like to know, I would like to know... Tell me would you hold me if I told you that I know some things that you don’t want to know
6.
The first half of the bus trip from Denver to Dallas was a whirlwind Greyhound romance yes, it was over by Amarillo and I don’t know what it means, I’ll forget his name before he’s deployed I will try to pray he makes it back home to Marietta Sittin’ on a curb at the transfer station Sittin’ on a curb at the transfer station And when he sees his daughter he can take her on a shopping spree at the toy store so she can’t say he did nothing for her she’s got another daddy now, this one’s here and gone on occasion he takes her to the salon tattoos her portrait on his arm Sittin’ on a curb at the transfer station Sittin’ on a curb at the transfer station Amarillo streetlights blinkin Amarillo streetlights blinkin and watchin So it’s one more gone and a stranger asking for change in pleas as he’s passing and I’ve got nothing so why hoard it? I mean, I spent the last of all the money my mother loaned me on a little black dress that should have been blue I mean, she might as well disown me Sittin’ on a curb at the transfer station Sittin’ on a curb at the transfer station Amarillo streetlights blinkin Amarillo streetlights blinkin and watchin
7.
my lonely lovely girl, my dark becoming dawn tired of livin as if you’re dyin, it gets wearisome and the widower laments in drunken confidence just like he meant to love you, just like he meant to love you is this loneliness or freedom I’ve never known the difference between bein left and leavin Where, where have you been? Where have you been? Are we done Are we done Are we done with being what we’ve been my sweet despair so pretty I have loved you, I have blamed you, I’ve held you to me in the dark and in the day my love, my love, I was wrong and it’s taken me this long to believe though you’d leave that you’d love me, that you loved me Where, where have you been? Where have you been? Are we done Are we done Are we done with being what we’ve been
8.
O pale white moon, casting your long blue shroud and shadow I’m bound across the darkened land and shining snow O pale white snow, stretch from sea to shining city I’m bound to cross this whole wide country lonely O pale white moon O please don’t leave me O pale white snow Don’t leave me lonely O pale white loneliness let me be O mountains green, will there be peace in those pavèd streets I’m bound to miss your mud and maple trees O maple trees, I feel the restless rising spring I’m bound to follow restless rising dreams O mountains green I’m bound to leave O maple trees I’m bound to leave O blind ambition has me O quiet house in the shadow of the mountains I’m bound for brighter lights and bigger towns O little town, sleeping so sweetly I’m bound for distant seas and shining cities O quiet house Don’t let me leave O little town I’ll be so lonely O shining city let me be
9.
Over the causeway may be the great escape we make, such daring young rakes Tambourines gleaming we split the water between the light of the sun and the calm of dark And a word I can’t recall like patience or grace something that means faith lingers on the rocks and the highway lines and the white-silver road signs and the mountains and the tar And it’s you and me, driving East, back where the light comes from And it’s you and me, in a carload of people, musicians who need to mean more than they do And I’ll play mandolin and we’ll play gypsy jazz in sunglasses and hats in our gypsy band and you can and you can I believe you can And fa la falderal, and fiddle-i, fiddle-ay, and too-re-loo-ray, and tra la hey And I’ll play mandolin and we’ll play gypsy jazz in sunglasses and hats in our gypsy band and you can and you can I believe you can
10.
sunflower 02:02
Sunflower now it’s time, face the sun, face the summer, everything you’ll leave behind this time Sunflower now it’s time, say goodbye, say I love you, say that I am sorry that I always disappoint you I have sung this song, I’ve written everything there is to write of leaving you I have sung this song, I’ve written everything there is to write of leaving you Sunflower now it’s time, say goodbye, say I love you, say that I’m not sorry, say I’ve sung this song

about

maudlyn monroe's debut studio album (released under slp) is a winding country-folk road. a set of traveling songs, written on and about the road, by a singer-songwriter working through what it means to lose and to move on and to settle into themselves, if they can. great for listening in the car, going to sleep, or, based on a number of real-time responses, if you want little girls to dance.

*while now using more they/them feels, slp was proud to be a widow's daughter and felt that twice-filtered gendered identity was very telling in how they grew up.

credits

released May 1, 2011

the musicians
slp - voice, acoustic & electric guitar, banjo
jim sullivan - upright bass
jason pawlina - drums
dylan fixmer - trumpet
annie savage - fiddle
sally van meter - dobro
eric moon - accordion
greg schochet - mandolin
danny shafer - electric gutiar
sean lamborne - voice
ben hanna - voice

all songs by slp copyright 2011 | produced by slp & evan reeves | engineered by patrick tracy, evan reeves & ben romsdahl | mixed by patrick tracy | recorded at UI Sound Studios in Boulder, CO | graphic design & cover etching by alexandra bond

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maudlyn monroe Fort Collins, Colorado

Classically trained, with a love for riot grrl and 70's NY punk, maudlyn monroe is a vocalist/guitarist/saxophonist/pianist with an up-tempo emo feel—an electrified lackadaisical punk. Their voice, with its three octave range, has been called "angelic" and "soulful", "bird-like" and "desperate", and lends to quiet folk contemplation, shocking soul, and raw punk sounds. ... more

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